Look out, 2011!
by DEfy'GRavitY95
Summary: Whilst out hunting, our heroes find a gateway to a magical place... Arthur comes across a Miley Cyrus CD while Merlin learns about the wonders of a vacuum cleaner. Look out London, the boys have dropped in!
1. Arthur's afraid of a big bad tree!

**AN: I'm back! Well, back from the short amount of time anyway, but I digress. This is my first Merlin story and since most of you seem to enjoy my twisted sense of humour, here's another light hearted story as I have yet to find my depressing Glinda fic.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Merlin, Megan would probably murder me in my sleep to get a hold of Colin Morgan... **

Arthur had dragged Merlin along hunting again. Even though Merlin despised hunting, he always seemed to be the one carrying the kill and returning home stinking of meat.

"Merlin, stop daydreaming back there and catch up" came Arthur's caring words from the horse in front.

"Yes your royal doltness" mumbled Merlin before starting to decrease the distance between himself and the saddled prince without realising that his master had stopped, causing a crash.

"Now look what you've done! You just dropped the food"

"You stopped in front of me" retorted Merlin, holding his beaten head.

"Yes, I did. Because of that." Arthur indicated using his sword to the object of his apprehension. It seemed to be a hollow tree yet where there should have been a crevice, there was what seemed to be a veil, shimmering in the non-existent wind.

"What is it?" Merlin asked, not taking his eyes from it.

"I don't know. Which is why _you are going to find out" declared Arthur, gesturing again towards the obscurity._

"What if it's dangerous?" questioned the warlock, not moving an inch towards the peculiar glow.

"Well, I assure you, if you do not make it back, I will personally find a new manservant and warn my father of the danger in this part of the forest"

" My nervousness has been appeased. Thank you Sire." replied Merlin bitingly.

"My pleasure. Now move." answered Arthur, choosing to ignore the dripping sarcasm in the dark haired boy's voice.

Merlin walked carefully towards the opening, trying to peer through the bright radiance to detect the other side of the forest but found he could not see beyond the bark enclosing the shine. He swallowed as he made the last step and was swallowed into the shroud.

* * *

Arthur waited, knowing that Merlin would be walking around the other side of tree any minute now, grinning saying how the prince of Camelot was afraid of a tree.

He waited.

Merlin wasn't there. Arthur clambered down from his horse and approached the entrance to which Merlin had disappeared through.

"Merlin, come out. We have to get these rabbits back to Camelot in time for you to polish my armour before the banquet" shouted Arthur, hoping to receive a groan of response and the reappearance of those ears. But there wasn't one. Arthur drew his sword and took the final advance through.

When the light had stopped blinding, Arthur blinked and looked around. Then blinked again.

This wasn't Camelot.

**Tadaaaa... Chapter 1. Please review! Oh, and that leads me onto my PS: if you would like to star in this, you can write in a review *hint*(;)) what you would like to do when you encounter Arthur or Merlin... and yes, a FEW of you can give one of them a kiss if you are a lover of Colin or Bradley like Witherspoon is *sigh of despair***

**Have a nice day! Roll in those scenarios!**


	2. Trafalegarrrrr Hoootel

**A/N: I believe that writer's block is like a cold. It is really bad one day then suddenly your nose becomes unblocked over night. I'm at stage 2. The coughing has gone but I still have an itchy nose. This is my anological explaination for the worse-than-usual quality of this chapter but I didn't want to let anyone who wants to know what happens down.**

**On with the plot ;)**

the Arthur span around on the spot. There was roaring sounds coming from every direction. Huge beasts pounded towards one another in what seemed like armour while people walked past in indescribable robes talking to themselves holding grey boxes. Arthur successfully managed to be able to see above the heads of the crowd and spotted his big eared companion, who was studying a large parchment.

"Oh, you're here. Thought you said you would find another servant to replace me if I didn't return" Merlin grinned looking up from the scroll.

"Merlin, where are we?" Arthur asked, trying to keep the worry out of his voice

"Apparently, according to this map, we are right in the middle of Trafalgar Square" replied Merlin, returning his gaze downwards as if Arthur had asked him what the weather was like.

"Merlin, what are you talking about? What is a 'mar-p'?" Arthur was beginning to feel agitated.

"It's a MA-p. I used on of the very few coins you give me as payment for my services to buy it off that man over there" said Merlin, pointing to a stall labelled 'MAPS' where a bald man was gleefully grinning at Merlin, kissing and biting the coin.

Just then, a female wearing a very inappropriate looking gown that made what Morgana wore look innocent, bounded up to Arthur and kissed him full on the mouth while another female held another of the grey boxes towards the surprised prince. The was a small click and the girl pulled away, winked, and tore off with the grey box girl.

Merlin was trying very hard not to laugh at the expression on Arthur's face as he turned to face the young warlock.

"Merlin, I do not believe that this… land is in Camelot's borders and I suggest we leave"

"But Arthur, this place is exactly what you need. You are always saying how you sometimes feel that the burden of being the heir to the throne is too much. This could be like an…expedition?"

Arthur looked around. It was true that although those metal creatures were noisy, unlike in Camelot, they were not trying to attack. His father would never know of this as he had presumed the two would stay in a tavern outside the forest for the night. He turned towards his black haired assistant who was smiling hopefully back at him

"Fine. One night. But we must not tell anyone as they might feel this is sorcery. And if this does turn out to be the work of magic, I am alerting my father that you suggested this. Agreed?"

"Great!" chirped Merlin "Now, since you've decided we're secure, I recommend you ask around for a place to stay."

"Why must I ask? You seem to know a lot more about this place than me" argued Arthur

"I don't have the grandeur and grace that you own… but mostly because you have the money" remarked Merlin "Oh, look there's someone" he added, indicating towards a man dressed in black breeches, with what seemed to be a black noose around his neck. Arthur walked towards the man and held out his hand.

"Halt, peasant" he commanded forcefully. Merlin rolled his eyes behind his master's back.

"Excuse me?" replied the commuter, who seemed quite daunted by the presence of the strange man's sword around his waist and his greeting.

"Could you direct my servant and I towards the nearest tavern?" Arthur stated firmly, looking the poor man straight in the eye

"He means a 'hooo-tel" interrupted Merlin helpfully.

"Well, if you want a place to stay, like a 'hooo-tel', there's the Trafalgar Hotel over there" replied the man, pointing with a shaking hand towards the south.

"Thank you kind sir. Your assistance is appreciated" said Arthur, handing the man a gold piece.

The man looked at the coin, his previous worries for his own safety turning into disbelief.

"That's for me? This is amazing! I can leave my job with this and buy that conservatory the Mrs wanted AND the 48" inch flat screen telly and have millions left over! Whoopee!" and with that, the black noose man, shook the confused prince's hand until it hurt, and left.

Once the strange and peculiarly overjoyed man was out of eyesight, Merlin faced his master.

"What was that? 'Halt peasant'?, 'direct my servant and I to the nearest tavern'? That isn't how people around here talk, I heard them on their tel-e-phon-e-s. They say things like 'hey' a lot"

"So if I owned a horse, I would look more 'normal'?" asked Arthur. "These people have strange customs"

"I agree. We should ask for a room in the Traf-ale-garrrr Hotel using your money then. People seemed to be very impressed with your sword, they're watching us enough and if someone steals it, the King will probably take it out of my inadequate fees." responded Merlin.

Arthur picked up the two rabbits that had made their journey with him and followed Merlin to the south towards the Traf-ale-garrr Hotel using Merlin's MA-p.

**Right, if you would like this to continue, it is now up to you (wow. I sound all business-like :P) the kiss from Elizabeththecrazy has been used up and my other lovely reviewer did not put her request in. A few more kisses can be allowed because Arthur seems to loveeee them but it would be payback for laughing at him if Merlin received one too ;) In a few chapters time we discover Morgana's evil plan (including LOTS of smirking) and what that has to do with our heroes.. expedition**

**Anyway, read, review and please please please please pleaseeeeee send in what you want to happen next so you can act as my Vix cold relief :P**


	3. The Shoe Shine

**A/N: I'm very sorry that this isn't exactly the most illuminating of pages/chapters but I had to introduce someone who will start rolling this story along. Not much humour at all :/**

**However, I'm not sorry to report that I've had so many reviews for the last chapter so I had a right little shindig after the fifth then they just kept coming! **

**On with the story my chums!**

**Polly Hale was on her first shift **at the Trafalgar Hotel. So far she had witnessed a couple having an argument with the manager about the missing wedding ring that had fallen into the Shoe Shine Stand whilst their two young children wiped their jam covered hands from breakfast all over the seats in the lobby. The parents were about to have another thing to worry about when they turned around.

She looked towards the entrance and spotted two rather peculiar dressed men struggling through the revolving door. The blonde seemed to be wearing what looked like a medieval armour fancy dress while the other wore nothing too outrageous aside from the startling contrasting colours of his shirt and dirty neckerchief. Now, as she watched them, she realised that they were still walking around through the door and looking utterly confused. Finally, the two stopped pushing with all his strength and carefully spun so a gap was produced for them to reach inside. By now they had attracted quite an audience as they spotted Polly at the desk.

The blonde waltzed proudly towards her with the other behind. Once the first had come to a stop in front of the reception, Polly was disgusted to see that the blonde had slammed two dead rabbits on the counter before talking to her. But like the 896 page handbook stated, she smiled and recited 'welcome to the Trafalgar Hilton Hotel, my name is Polly. Can I have your name for the reservation please?', hurting her cheeks with a probably homicidal grin on her face.

"We'd like a place to stay" said the dress up knight haughtily. The man behind, who Polly realised was quite cute, smiled apologetically.

"Yes sir. Your reservation?" Polly repeated, thinking these two made the oddest couple she had helped so far. By now, the manager had finished dealing with the jammy handed family and judging by the brisk walk towards the front desk and frown on her face, she had noticed the attire of the people causing a scene.

"Do you two have a room?" The manager, or as Poppy had discovered this morning in the staff room, the Wicked Witch, asked flaring her nostrils.

"No, but we have payment" answered Arthur, showing in his outstretched palm with a couple of gold coins volunteered. The lady looked at his hand, then back at Arthur.

"No coinage. Just accounts. Please leave my hotel." The two boys turned when she added "but please leave some of that as a donation for the damage you have caused to our property", pointing towards the rabbits staring up eerily at Polly.

Arthur scowled at the woman, took the kill and pulled the cute warlock to the door, once again spinning the moving door numerous times while trapped before finding the exit. The Wicked Witch pocketed the gold and walked away with her nose in the air. Polly watched her go before running after the two strange, wealthy newcomers.

"hey wait!" the two spun around to see the girl who had watched their removal behind the 'RE-CE-P-TI-ON' table. "I saw you two had trouble with the Wicked Wit-manager, so I was thinking, if you quietly take a room, and leave early tomorrow, you could stay" she proposed.

"Thanks…Po-llye, isn't it?" smiled Merlin, pointing to the badge.

"Pol-lee" she corrected, grinning even wider to the young wizard "you two really aren't from around here, are you? Now for crying out loud, leave the rabbits, it might make an interesting souvenir for the tourists, seeing a pigeon pecking at a rabbit under Nelson's Column"

And with that, she motioned for the two to follow back inside the magical maze door.

**Told ya it was boring. I'll try to regain your attention with the next chapter either later today or tomorrow as Merlin and Arthur discover the wonders of modern technology, including a shower, the famous Miley Cyrus CD and of course the Underground. Add that to the fact that Morgana and Gwen are about to make an entrance, Polly Pocket (sorry Pegs, can't help it) has got her work cut out for her getting them back to their own magical time! :p**

**R&R my lovelies **

**xxx**


	4. Merlin and the Shower yes! Rejoice!

**A/N: Sorrry, I think I promised last chapter that I would publish this yesterday but I got distracted by a Jill Mansell book, so not one word was written. But it's here now. And I'm sure most of you will forgive me if you Merlin lovers read on... ;)**

Merlin awoke to a terrifying screeching noise from the comfiest night sleep he had had since the day he was born. Opening his eyes, he found the source of the monstrosity was Arthur fiddling with a round grey box with buttons.

"Arthur, what is THAT?" said Merlin as he pulled the pillow over his head to try and shield himself from the blasts of nails on chalkboard. "According to the voices coming from this box, it was a person called Mile-yy Sigh-us. I quite like it, they're talking to me with music behind them. Apparently it's a 'tuuu-n'"

"It's pronounced Mile-e Sigh-rus and nobody in this country likes her. Now turn it down! What part of 'keep quiet so no one will know you were here' do you not understand?" asked Polly, who had walked into their much to Arthur's disgust, shared chambers during the conversation.

Arthur turned off the magical grey voice box ad Polly quietly said "anyway, I managed to sneak you some breakfast, then you can be on your way to wherever you're going." Polly put down the tray and helped herself to some toast. She had enquired their name last night and seemed to be extra friendly towards Merlin as she explained he had a 'cute way of saying his name'.

"Poll-ee, where do we freshen up? I need Merlin to prepare my bath" asked Arthur, taking his sword out from under his bed. Polly looked at Arthur angrily "let Merlin go in the bathroom first, he deserves it" she snapped, turning to grin at Merlin who looked rather confused and grateful at the same time. Merlin walked into the door he discovered held and large white bucket for Arthur's bath later.

"Polly, where's the water?" came from the bathroom.

"Hit the round circle thing called a button in front of you for the-"

"Arggh! Why's the water coming down?" came the surprise cry, as the young warlock reappeared from the door soaking wet from the head down to his shirt, which now clung to him rather nicely, Polly noted.

After Merlin had got used to the sound of the hairdryer, he was able to dry off and the three left the hotel without being spotted. "Right, I have a day off so I'm all yours" said Polly, glancing at Merlin. "I could be your tour guide?"

And so began a very unconventional day trip.

Polly suggested seeing the London Eye before the busy afternoon but faced a difficult problem on the Underground but the ticket seller promised to not press charges after seeing the size of Arthur's blade when he had attacked the ticket barrier after getting frustrated with not being able to get through.

Once the boys had stopped screaming at the thundering noise of the train approaching and Arthur had managed to pull his sword from the gap between the train and the platform **(Get your mind out the gutter people! Especially you Witherspoons…)** they travelled towards Westminster.

They got their own private capsule on the Eye by Arthur sneakily handing the very bored looking man behind the desk a gold coin. Once on the Eye, the boys clung to the rail as if there was no capsule at all and they were about to fall into the brown water below. They had to stop off inside HMV for Arthur to find some more Mile-yy Sigh-us tuuu-n. Sitting down in Starbucks, Polly had taken several pictures of the two experiencing their first frozen headache. Just as they were finishing their coffees and Polly had put her phone (or grey box to our heroes) Arthur sighed.

"Well this has been a memorable time, but we really must get back to Camelot so-" Polly choked on her mocha. "Sorry…where?" she asked glancing between the two companions.

"Umm… Camelot? Our…home?" Merlin replied, feeling very confused at the lukewarm coffee on her chin.

"But Camelot's not…Oh my God" Polly breathed, now increasing the pace she swivelled her head. "Arthur and Merlin…you're Arthur and Merlin." She had now begun violently pointing her finger at them.

"I just gave the King of Camelot and Merlin brain freezes!" cried the two octave higher voice of the girl.

Once Polly had stopped hyperventilating, the trio left for Trafalgar to part their separate ways. They were just coming from Charing Cross station towards the fountain when the medieval duo spotted two familiar yet unexpected faces.

The Lady Morgana and her handmaiden Guinevere stared right back at them.

**Yep. Merlin got wet (No. That is NOT another innuendo.) I had to do it. Witherspoon has been moaning about how we all see Arthur shirtless so I decided to happify her. And never fear, if you enjoy this story, you will be delighted to hear getting back to a place many people believe never existed is not going to be easy. And this morning, Spoons also agreed that Gwen being run over by a bus would NOT be a nice thing for me to write so Gwen will actually be mentioned in more than one chapter and not meet her untimely end trying to befriend the glossy red creature...**

**have a nice interlude between chappies and a nice day!**

**Reviewsical please! **

**xxx :)**


	5. Having to play rescue, again

**A/N: So I know that I left on a bit of a drama filled cliffy ;) but the arrival of Morgana and Gwen is now explained so I don't confusify or miss out anything. I'm very happy because I have had a lot of emails saying people are adding this as a story alert or a favourite story :) But then... you aren't leaving any reviews :( So a quick favour for me is to leave what you think should happen or thoughts because there is only so much creativity my tiny brain has... I do however have two super-duper cool reviewers who are being very persistent in their reviews practically in every chap, are you having a competiton between yourselves? :P... but one doesn't count because she's my best friend and is only reviewing because I have a chance to not let her character get her kiss off Merlin ;)**

**So this chapter goes towards chief inspector witherspoons and Elizabeththecrazy (by the way, that cookie was good! ;))**

Morgana had had another bad night. After bringing her breakfast, Gwen had suggested taking a trip to the forest to brighten up Morgana's chambers with flowers, because that was kind of the nice things Gwen did.

Their plan was to meet up with Arthur and Merlin at the inn by the forest and the four to return back to the castle. It was after they had found various species of flora that Morgana spotted something.

"Gwen, isn't that Arthur's horse standing by that tree?" she asked, climbing down from her saddle approaching the grazing animal. "Isn't he supposed to be in the tavern boasting about his title and how good he is at hunting?"

"Maybe they've come out for more" replied Gwen, looking around the foliage for a glimpse of the prince and his servant.

Morgana smiled broadly and started walking around. "Arthur? Merlin? Come out…or are you embarrassed you haven't found anything yet? I could always help.. wasn't there that time when-" but Gwen never found out what happened as Morgana had stopped talking.

"Gwen? I think you should see this…" came the Lady's voice softly, hidden from view behind a dried up causeway.

Gwen jumped down from her horse and walked towards the sound of Morgana's voice. "My lady, what's wrong? Are you-?" Gwen's worried question broke off as she saw what had made Morgana fall silent.

There, a few metres in front of her shocked superior was a hollow tree, but instead of an aperture showing the sunlight, there was a billowing curtain, looking phosphorescent from an unnatural source.

Morgana turned around. "I don't think Arthur was clever enough to walk away from it. He'd want to be a hero and find out the dangers. They're both in there probably."

Gwen glanced at the shine. "What should we do?" Morgana smiled triumphantly despite the situation.

"We go in there after them. Rescue them because they can't handle the big scary monsters. Like we always do."

And with that, the two girls held hands and strode through the barricade to the rescue of the prince and the warlock. Like they always did.

**Complete-o! We're up to speed, so next chapter is going to be how Polly Pilly copes with 4 medieval people with her and the discovery that, actually, getting them back to hundreds of years in the past might be more difficult than they first thought. Also, Morgana saves Merlin from almost certain death in Hamley's while I work down the list of people who want a special kiss with Merlin ;) I hope you lucky reviewers are reading! **

**Please review so you can join the priviledged few who have met the gang whilst sightseeing ;)**


	6. Put your foot in it, why don't you?

**A/N: This is my longest chapter so far... whether that's a good or bad thing, you decide! Poor Polly isn't really getting a look in now with Morgana arriving and the female attention Merlin is receiving. I deliberately didn't give Polly's friend a name because 1. I'm unimaginative and 2. She won't be featured apart from right at the end for the last pathetic gag ;) You might notice, I have no plan so this chapter is literally going with the words inside my head rather than planned... Oh, and if any of you are counting, Elizabeththecrazy is winning the non existent competition of the largest chain of reviews ;)**

**A note to the-mysterious-scribe: Yay! We think alike! That is what I was planning, however Polly has a bit more sense than the featured guest... :P And to Dragon Mistress Syal, thanks for the wonderful 3 reviews and I agree with you that Arthur knows what a map is, he's used the word before but it was a flowy thing ;)**

**XXXX**

Polly was still staring at Morgana and Gwen minutes later. After the initial shock, the boys had regained themselves and noted the awkward air as the three women took in one another.

Arthur cleared his throat. "Well, Polly this is Morgana and her handmaiden Guinevere" he introduced, sharing a glance with Gwen. This did not help with Polly's gawking, which had now focused on the Lady's maid who was beginning to feel uncomfortable under the girl's eyes.

"But…you're Guinevere?" Polly managed to say, shaking her head from the daze. Gwen nodded, trying to smile as if she wasn't confused by her interest.

Polly was brimming with questions as she was now surrounded by people from stories she had been brought up on "we were always told that you were a-"

The modern girl's examination was cut short by two girls running up to the five, jumping up and kissing either side of Merlin's cheek then walked away smiling. Polly looked angry while Arthur and Morgana smirked at the look of utter astonishment on Merlin's face.

The girl from present day gave a forced smile. "So you're Morgana… le Fay right?" Morgana looked surprised, as Arthur had not mentioned her surname to this strangely dressed child. "Is that important?" she laughed.

Polly shot a glance at Arthur that Merlin did not miss. "No, it's just… it's a really nice name. Do you like shopping?" And without waiting for an answer, she dragged the startled woman back down to the tube with the others trailing behind.

After reappearing from Oxford Circus tube station, Polly had insisted they visited the famous toy shop. Once inside, she let go of Morgana's now numb arm.

"Right." she said chirpily "there's five floors, you go up the moving stair things in the middle and enjoy. How about Arthur and Gwen while I go with Merlin" she decided, smiling at the famous advisor. She then registered the black haired beauty. "Oh… yes, Morgana. Who would you like to go with?"

"I shall follow you, seeing as you seem to understand this world I just walked into". Morgana replied pleasantly. Polly's face fell. "Okay, we'll start near the top. So come on." The three left Arthur and Gwen to themselves

(I'm just going to skip Arthur and Gwen stuff, because we can all imagine it will be awkward and Arthur will look dotingly at her blah blah blah you get the gist… if not, just watch the show from when Arthur wakes up one morning and decides to pursue a servant, while Gwen completely forgets about her crush on Merlin)

Things were not going well up on floor four. There had been a few attempts, mostly on Merlin's part, to start a conversation between the two silent girls who were both checking out the competition as it were. The silence continued as Polly insisted they moved down a floor after Morgana had tried out a flying helicopter and accidentally headed it in Polly's direction.

Polly saw an opportunity when Morgana walked ahead to study the pink goodness of the dress up section. "So, Merlin, does Arthur know about your secret?" she asked as she leaned towards him so Morgana would not overhear.

"What secret?" Merlin said cautiously, automatically giving the game away that he knew exactly what she was talking about. "How did you-"

"Know?" asked his companion "I can sense it. You see, I also have magic" she added mysteriously, staring straight ahead.

Merlin gave her a sideways glance. "What can you do?" Polly looked him in the eye with a sombre expression on her face. "I have the amazing and rare ability to cross my eyes while rolling my tongue, watch!" the girl then proceeded to pull a funny face at the warlock. Merlin laughed, the tense atmosphere had vanished. "Now, if I'm not mistaken, I think we should get on. Those girls in the Cinderella costumes are starting to turn nasty towards the Lady Morgana."

They had reached the last floor, full of Hamley's famous stuffed animals. Morgana and Merlin were stood staring at the giant giraffe, waiting for it to move, when Polly felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Ahh, so the people who have got the whole building gawking are with you. Should've have known. By the way, I'm not sure whether the full body armour is actually allowed her or necessary. Someone's paranoid about the big city."

Polly stopped watching the raven haired couple and turned towards the familiar face. "Well, I like people who stand out. You should know that." The shop assistant laughed. "Unfortunately I do. Still, the black haired one's quite cute. Shame he's taken." she indicated to the laughing pair by the dolphins.

Polly glared. "Yes, well they're not from round here… the members of the Arthurian legend have come for a visit." She watched as her best friend's face fell from a mischievous grin to shock to disbelief. "So the one in the armour is…"

Polly nodded. "At the moment, he's Prince Arthur with Guinevere." The toy shop worker gazed at her wide eyed. "She doesn't look much like a princess…"

Polly smiled humorously. "That possibly would be because she is actually the servant to the Lady Morgana, who is standing over there" she finished, pointing towards the ancient couple standing ahead of them. Her trusty companion's mouth was now of similar shape to that of the giraffe the two clueless sorcerers were watching.

"No waaay… Arthur, Guinevere, Morgana… that just leaves…". But her star struck realisation was cut short by the two sides of good and evil. Polly watched amusedly as the assistant kept blinking up at the cute wizard and swore she heard the words "big ears…no beard" mumbled before Merlin spoke.

"Morgana and I were wondering why the animals do not seem to move." Morgana nodded. "Also, there seems to be a bear who is wearing a cloak and boots. Is that a custom around here?" the woman asked curiously, smiling at Merlin whilst looking around.

"That's Paddington…but I thought Morgana and Merlin were always fi-" Polly interrupted "fiii-nding out new things, so go and look at the turtles. They're very cute." And with that, she brushed past the two, sending her friend back to the till where a queue of angry people were waiting for her.

"Do you know the actual definition of subtlety? They're going back home soon, so when they do, I'll explain everything! Oh, and by the way, Merlin and Morgana are NOT together!" With that, Polly stormed off in the direction of Arthur and Gwen.

Morgana and Merlin had wandered towards the jungle creatures. Merlin spotted a red circle thing, pushed it and all at once, a pink creature started making its way over to them. Merlin backed up but tripped over, knocking a display over and starting a chain reaction. Morgana watched, half shocked, half amused as the bumbling servant was pounced upon by immobile animals until only his feet could be seen.

The crowd Polly's friend had been making her way through diverted their attention to the scene. From the crowd, a girl could be heard saying "I could give him the kiss of life?" At that moment, Polly had arrived with Arthur and Gwen. Glancing towards the assistant who was pointing with a forced expressionless face, she found the source of commotion and helped Morgana pull him out of the grasps of the once cute turtles.

**There we go, we're coming to a close... well at the rate I'm going with kisses, there has to be more chappies ;) Oh yes, and Spoons, you got your own story, stop being competitive, Elizabeththecrazy doesn't know you, she's probably scared now...but thanks for the ice cream all the same ;)**


	7. Girls out for blood! :O

**A/N: Here's the third helping, I'm on a roll ;) To Elizabeththecrazy, a quick apology. I've spoken to her and I promise she won't go crazy over you again. She is highly competitive. Pity me if we get into a fight about something we have to compete for...**

**Anyway, we saw the return of some old friends/reviewers yesterday... so hi again! I thought your suggestions were fantastic and some are mentioned here. Polly is about to step up her game in a bid to out-woo Morgana (must stress that this isn't a romance story for Merlin, just both girls are now out on a mission and who doesn't love a bit of jealousy drama and cat fights? :P)**

**I'm writing chapter 8 right now so it will be up quite soon, this story might possibly make it to 10 chapters, depending on what my brain or Spoons projects out about new developments...**

**So, on with the readings peeeps! **

**xx**

Once the group had escaped the shop before they had another run in with the officials, Arthur turned towards Polly. "Well, this has been an unforgettable time and I can't say it was all fun but we'd really better be returning back to Camelot. My father will be beginning to wonder where we are."

Polly smiled. "Yes, of course, the king…Uther, right? But how may I ask are you going to get back? Wow, did you invent a time machine? Let me guess, Morgana 'accidentally' sent the heir to the throne forward in time in the hope of steal-shutting up" the girl exhaled.

Arthur shook his confused head. "No, no time machine, Merlin and I arrived through a opening in a tree in the forest" Morgana nodded in recognition. "Same with Gwen and I. We found Arthur's horse and followed them in."

Polly focused on Arthur and appeared to have ignored Morgana's expansion. "And where did you arrive?" came the voice over Polly's shoulder. The shop assistant winked at Merlin while Polly's face turned sour.

"Lydia, I told you we'd talk after they went home." whispered Polly menacingly. "Why, it's a if you don't want me around Camelot's famous sorcerer" retorted the brunette. "So, where were you? Before Pollyanna here found you?" Polly scowled at the invented name.

"Well, we came from a tree then we were in Trafal-garr place that led to the tavern Polly was in." Merlin answered. "So you were transported to Trafalgar Square?" Polly confirmed. She glanced at Lydia and realised her friend did not look so playful.

"You landed right in the middle of Trafalgar Square. There isn't a tree around that area until you reach a park. The tree that takes you back to Camelot was probably chopped down before the construction began…"

Merlin watched as the same look of disappointment and horror slid onto his three companion's faces.

"Ah."

* * *

They had been sat in the library for the past two hours after the revelation and were still no closer to finding a way for the four foreigners to return back to their time. Lydia was told she had to make sure that any of them came over to discover what Polly was studying as she was currently reading up on Camelot legend to try and find such a tree mentioned.

Lydia turned around from her chair to face the disgruntled girl. Polly had been sulking ever since Morgana had said silkily offhand "Merlin's always preferred brunettes".

"Maybe it isn't a tree anymore, maybe they find the closest lamp post, walk into that and through the ages they travel, it will transform back into a tree by the time Camelot exists and taa-daa, whole forest, just as they left it!"

Polly looked up at her friend then gave a demented grin. "Here's an idea. Make Morgana carry out that idea as the dummy run. Head first."

Just as Lydia was about to remind Polly that they had grown up believing that her new found crush was an old man, there was a sudden _whoosh _as a black haired figure rushed past them on what seemed to be an industrialised sized vacuum cleaner. Polly and Lydia gave each other and look and sighed simultaneously.

"_Mer_lin."

They followed the long cable and found Morgana also chasing after the warlock. Polly oh-so-innocently slightly pulled the cable towards her, causing Morgana to trip over the wire as her dress got caught. Lydia was about to give a moral-filled lecture on how tripping over a woman just because you think they're too pretty for their own good and are after 'your man' is utterly wrong when they heard a crash.

**Bit of a pathetic cliffy but what is now chapter 8 was attached to this and I didn't want it to be this long and this seemed the best place to stop... hoped you enjoyed and if you review, you don't get attacked by a very protective best friend if you criticise... the lead attached to her doesn't stop her from using a laptop you see, but I love ya! :D**

**R&R my pretties and a new chapter shall be on its way!**

**xxx**


	8. SHEtahn

**A/N: Anyone still there *hides from angry Merlin fans* I hope I haven't ruined my reputation of being a frequent updater but had my worst bout of writer's block yet. But I'm back people! And I promise, like the Guide I was once was, I shall be able to get another chapter out soon. Story's nearly over guys :(**

They found Merlin spread eagled over an upturned shelf of books, the vacuum cleaning now on its last wheeze. Polly obviously noting the opportunity without a Morgana in sight, rushed towards the boy, while the shop assistant rolled her eyes and started clearing up the books before the librarian threw them out. She was halfway through the pile to Merlin's right when a drawing fell out of a book. It went unnoticed as Lydia turned to see Arthur and Gwen arrived, supporting a very irked Morgana.

"What happened to you?" asked Merlin, standing up, sporting a rather large bruise on his forehead. Morgana gave Polly a look. "I tripped over a pathetic fat wire" she smiled towards him. The double meaning of her words caused Polly to start forward until Lydia grabbed her arm. "Come and help me clear up the rest of the books". Upon seeing Merlin assisting, Morgana quickly followed with her aid.

The six set about rearranging the literature, their applied silence occasional broken by Morgana studying the books with casual remarks "Oh look, _'Why Guys Don't Like Overweight Girls'_ **(I actually HAVE seen that book somewhere :O)** she commented as she passed the book to Polly, who was finding it more and more difficult to not accidentally drop a book on the head below her.

After a while, they had stacked up any evidence to suggest what had occurred and smuggled the vacuum cleaner back to the cupboard while the Librarian was absorbed in the pages of the _'8th International Friction Stir Welding Symposium Proceedings' _**(yet again, real published work! Warning: Don't try to say this title when drunk)**

It was only until the group were about to call it a day when Arthur felt something sticking to his boot. He picked it up, and was about to throw it away when he noticed the strange familiarity in the content of the parchment. He jogged to catch up with the others, holding out the sketching.

"Look" he said, brandishing the detailed drawing under their noses. "Doesn't this look like-" Morgana cut him off "-the tree we followed you through?" Merlin scrutinised it. "So, we've found it, we just need tooo…" he trailed off as Polly tapped him on the shoulder, pointing towards the shelves they had all just spent refurbishing.

"Scitan."

**Yes, Merlin roughly just swore in Old English, free Skittles to anyone who can guess what word perhaps not-so-innocent Merlin just used… By the way, any Bones fans reading this? how super duper hyped are you about next episode? eeepp X)**

**R&R my chums!**


	9. Polly gets her wish

**A/N: I woke up this morning and found a rather scary review so this chapter is dedicated to Elizabeththecrazy in the hope that she will forgive me for not being reliable. Enjoyed writing this chpater and I had Witherspoons cackling away like a maniac reading it over my shoulder because she has a vicious tendency. Congrats to the only person who guessed and the only person who got what Merlin said at the end of the last chapter. 'Scitan' is apparently Old English for the 's' word :)**

**Read and review, one more chapter to go! You'll never guess what it's about ;)**

Once the initial shock had worn off, the noise around the group returned to a momentous level.

"This is your entire fault, if you hadn't got on that stupid metal thing-"

"Me? Morgana wanted to find out what through the door!"

"Yeah, and if she hadn't had fallen over the wire by some crazy random happenstance-"

"Which YOU put in front of me!"

"Guys."

"Look, we all tidied the books up, we should all ju-"

"Oh stop being such a goody two shoes, you were too busy doing forbidden love eyes all over that pra-"

"Hey, she didn't say anything wrong! Stop blaming her!"

"Guys."

"Yes, well if you hadn't put your stupid foot over it, waltzing around like you own the place, we would have fou-"

"Guys."

"Well maybe if you weren't so keen to trip me up so you can rush to Merlin's aid, you would have seen it before anyone else. Or maybe it was because you can't see under your toes due to the blocka-"

"Sorry, was that a victory smile? It just looks like something ELSE has got caught up your-"

"SHUT IT!" came the scream from their right from Lydia, after giving up on trying to regain their attention peacefully. At once, Morgana stopped yanking Polly's hair while Polly's foot froze in Morgana's shin. Merlin shifted quietly in between the two while Lydia continued.

"Right, thank you. Now if any of you actually want to get home we're going to have to get cracking before the library closes and we lose our place, so get on with it!"

They all agreed, Polly finishing off her kick whilst Merlin's attention was taken then followed Arthur to the right of the shelf.

20 minutes later found the group hidden behind towers of books, the only recent activity being Polly "coughing" in the direction of the block closest to Morgana, causing them to topple on the witch's head.

A peaceful silence was ruined when a shriek came from two stacks of books to the left. Peeking around the corner, they found Polly nursing her finger while Morgana was sitting at a desk, whistling innocently.

Lydia sighed. "What did you do now?" Polly looked at them all with a puppy dog frown on her face. "I gave myself a paper cut on this book" she wailed. Everyone turned towards Morgana simultaneously. "What?" Morgana asked defiantly "I'm all the way over here, she did it herself." Merlin sighed and sat beside Polly. "Is your finger alright? I used to mutilate my hands in Gaius' workshop, painful."

Polly gave a large sniff and a watery smile. "Yes. I'm not pathetic." Behind them, Morgana rolled her eyes as Lydia heard her mutter "you could've fooled me." As Polly leaned in to the hug Merlin was finally going to give her, he turned at the last moment to the book that had caused the injury. He gasped. "Arthur, give me that drawing!" Arthur for once did not question the warlock's demand. Merlin held up the paper to the page in the book.

"It matches. Polly, you found the book!" Merlin grinned and grabbed Polly's head, giving her a kiss on the temple. The look of utter daze on her face would have caused Lydia to pull out her camera phone if the revelation wasn't so important. Morgana scoffed.

"So, we have a book with the tree as an illustration…now what?" exclaimed Arthur agitatedly. Lydia exhaled excitedly, pointing from the book to the confused faces of Camelot before she found her voice.

"Don't you see? Books are made out of trees, right?" The warlock and the prince nodded. "sooooo…. if you push yourself into the book with the drawing of the tree, through the time that it was chopped down, you'll return back to Camelot!" she grinned, then glanced at Polly and back to Merlin. "Do I get a kiss now?"

Merlin shifted awkwardly while the silent Morgana's scowl deepened. "yes..no!…ermm" Merlin cleared his throat. "We need to focus on getting back." Morgana's nod looked painful.

Gwen came up and hugged Polly, then in turn Lydia. As she was about to release herself from the toy worker's arms, the modern girl pulled her back and whispered in her ear "have fun with Lancelot."

The handmaiden blushed and avoided Arthur's confused gaze as she turned towards the book that had now been placed on the floor.

Polly opened her mouth. "Why doesn't Morga-" she asked before quietening at the look Lydia sent her. Gwen turned to wave at them all in turn, accidentally missing out Polly's friend. She held her breath as she was sucked down into the picture like a plughole.

Arthur breathed a sigh of relief while Polly turned to Lydia. "Wow, your theory actually worked!" Arthur spun round to face them. "You mean there was a chance it wouldn't?" Polly indicated towards the book. "Which is exactly why I suggested Morgana we-"

Next was Arthur's turn. After shooting the two teenagers a look that could easily be read as 'I-hope-you-didn't-just-send-my-one-love-into-the-abyss', he stood on the page. Once again, there was the yanking sound as the Prince of Camelot disappeared, humming the tune of '7 Things'.

Morgana stood on the book, and then a conflicted look appeared on her face as she rushed towards Polly, grabbing her into a bone crushing hug. "Thank you so much for this. You've been so nice to me. It's like we're best friends" and with one last smile towards the shocked blonde, Morgana stepped on drawing and evaporated.

There was a stunned silence, Polly still had her arms out from the hug, stiff as a board and Merlin was blinking so hard it looked like an involuntary twitch. His voice came out strangled.

"did she just-"

"Uhuh."

"After-"

"Uhuh."

Merlin shook his head hopelessly

"Women."

By now, Polly had regained facial emotion and was looking at Merlin in a renounced fashion. Merlin smiled at the two.

"well this has been fun. Arthur's going to have so many jobs for me to do when I get back though." He chuckled and walked towards them.

"Bye Polly." And with that, he leaned down and kissed the just recovering girl on the cheek, causing her to lose all intelligence she had redeemed and could only smile like a love sick weirdo.

"well, this is touching but mostly sickening" Lydia coughed. Merlin laughed and turned to her. "No kiss for you then?" he asked, giving her a hug.

"yeah, yeah…oh wait! I have something for you!" Lydia started to rummage through her bag while Polly stared at Merlin attentively. "Aha! Got it!" Lydia pulled out a wrapped parcel. "Thought you might appreciate it… open it then!"

Merlin ripped the parchment open and saw a dead furry animal. The label on the top read "White Beard". Merlin looked up at Lydia's wicked grin.

"Thought it might come in useful, y'know, in the future" she winked.

The last image for the warlock before he was swallowed back to Camelot was the laughing faces of the two teenage girls.

**And now you know why Spoons enjoyed this chapter so much *eye roll* If you think their adventures are over, think again! Polly and Lydia have one more mean trick up their sleeve which I'm quite proud as it's quite inventive **

**Have a Merlin day and hope I restored your faith in me Elizabeth! **

**R&R xxx**


	10. The last sighting of the SMIRK!

**A/N: So I'm finished, our cute warlock has gone and I am done (I'm in a rhyming mood today...) THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone who has read, reviewed, alerted, favourited etc. Sorry this chapter does not do justice to all you lovely people but I felt satisfied writing it *insert awkward evil laugh here***

**Disclaimer: For one last time, Merlin will never be mine (told you about the rhyming thing ;))**

There was a silence as the page became still once more.

"Well, that went well."

Lydia turned to Polly, who was still watching the spot where the big eared warlock had stood.

Lydia sighed. "Love sick comfort food?"

"Love sick comfort food."

The two picked up the book and walked out the library, avoiding the librarian who was now absorbed in 'The Top Ten Cheeses'. The two made the direct route to the nearest M&S to grab some Ben and Jerry's, Skittles, and all foods they would seriously regret having in the morning.

They were just at the checkout when someone barged in front of them. The barge girl turned and gave them a stupid smirk and returned to facing forward. The two teens were about to protest when they actually looked at the girl with the facial deformity. She had long blonde hair with big eyes. However, it was her attire that caught there attention. She wore a red dress, of similar style to the one Polly's new 'best friend' had just returned to Camelot in.

The blonde woman with the 'evil' smirk left the shop with the toy shop worker and lovesick idiot following behind, casting each other looks, questioning if they shared the same conclusion. They watched as the blonde walked into the library the two girls had just vacated, and dropped their gaze to the book under Polly's jacket.

"Do you think-?"

"Yeah…"

"Should we-?"

Lydia eerily imitated the queue cutter's smirk.

"Nah."

**So Polly Pocket and Lydia have destroyed Morgause's hopes of returning to Camelot to infect the random villagers that never get mentioned in the end credits of the show with her evvilll smirk or carry out her dastardly (and mostly flawed) plans full of subtle and evvilll smirks of evil. No more can she hurt our poor Merlin, huzzah!**

**Yet again, my appreciation goes towards all you wonderful people and of course, to my competing two reviewers, Elizabeththecrazy and chief-inspectior-witherspoons so kudos to you guys!**

**R&R for the end of this story and the extermination of the founder of the Morgause Academy of Smirking Excellence and Achievements *story light bulb moment!* Watch this space!**

**Loveeee you all**

**xxx**


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